How to Prioritize Yourself 5% More
Dear Self,
Being a human is hard.
Having needs is hard.
Meeting your needs is even harder.
I know you struggle with taking care of yourself sometimes, and prioritizing your needs can feel impossible with so many competing objectives, tasks, and people to please. If you are reading this right now, you are likely feeling stressed. And also ashamed for feeling stressed. And also like a failure for not “being able to do everything.”
So let’s just pause for a second and take a breath.
Probably another one.
One last one.
And now, please see below for a non-overwhelming list of how to prioritize yourself while also keeping up with everything and everyone.
How to prioritize yourself 5% more
Focus on what you can control
Nothing makes you feel more stressed than focusing on all the things you cannot do a single thing about.
Schedule no-screen time or implement boundaries with screen time
Replace screen time with a passion. It doesn’t have to be big thing, just 10-15 minutes of time toward your passion that you would ordinarily be spending on Instagram or flipping through Netflix.
Say No to social engagements that you do not enjoy
I know saying No is hard, like really hard. Don’t make yourself do it the right way. For now, let’s just settle for sending out a No text or making up an excuse for why you can’t go. I know this is not ideal, but we can clean it up later. Let’s just build the habit of getting the word out and gain back the many hours you spend dreading these events and wishing you said No.
Ask for support when needed
We all need a little help sometimes.
Be intentional about spending time with people who you want to spend time with
We need to be intentional about saying No to the wrong people and saying Yes to the right people. Take inventory of how you feel when you are done spending time with different types of people. Once you have found your people, the ones who make you feel loved and accepted as you are, initiate plans. Be the one to reach out first!
Build a simple morning and evening routine
No, I am not talking about the ones you see all over social media with 20 steps to complete before 7am. We need something that adds peace, not stress.
Make choices that are aligned with your values
Make a list of your top 2-3 values and place them on the kitchen fridge. If someone saw a recording of your life this past week, would your time and behaviors reflect these values? Are you living your values? If not, now is the time.
Take breaks when you need them
Look, I know you get annoyed when you have to stop what you are doing to go pee or refill your water, but you just have to do it. These human needs are real inconvenient sometimes, but you are a miserable person when you are tired, hungry, and grumpy, so for everyone’s sake, please do it. Taking breaks will get easier. Being human will also get easier.
Schedule time in your calendar for yourself just like you do for others
Literally, get out your calendar.
Write the words, “time for myself” into your silly little dot journal.
And make it happen.
If you do not plan for it and treat it like something on your calendar, you will not do it. As much as you want to think you will, you will not. There will always be 500 more important things to do than taking care of yourself. If it’s a task on your calendar, you will likely do it because you love checking off tasks. (And yes, we will have to work on this mindset later, but for now, treat self-care like a task. Whatever it takes to build the habit for now.)
Strive for balance in daily life with work, rest, and play
Balance. Balance. Balance.
We hear this word a lot, but what does that even mean? What is a balanced life? How do we know if it’s balanced? Who decides this? Is there some secret balance boss I don’t know about??
Clearly, we still have some work to do here. Let’s just skip this one for now.
To be continued…
xoxo,
Self